After such an awesome weekend (best weekend of my entire stay here), starting the next week waking up in sweats, tears and gasping is not a good sign. Not to mention the fact that my driving test is today. Now I trust myself to drive safe and I know I’m a good driver, been driving since I was sixteen (with and without a license back home, the perks of the Philippines). Now I’m 24, so that’s what, 8 years? Well guess what, people who have been driving huge ass trucks for twenty years now fail this test. Mhmm.. you heard me right.. they fail.. not just once but 5 times. And when you fail, you wait, another three months for another test date. So these men who came here to be drivers were eventually sent home to their own countries seeing as they couldn’t get a damn license. So yes, I’m nervous, worried, and a whole lotta shit. Not to mention I have work to deal with first before I go out and get my ass creamed by some driving instructor for signaling a second later than I was supposed to.
Thing is, I -can’t- afford to FAIL. Feel the stress on the word? Good, I meant for you to feel it. I’m dealing with stress and pressure on a daily basis from everything and everyone that is even remotely connected to me, that dealing with a lazy ass driver and men who put Gossip Girl to shame is not on the list of things that I want nor need to be dealing with anymore. This license is one, just one little thing that will make me completely independent from this fucked up office. When I’m stressed I walk or drive. Usually I walk, but in this heat (night or day baby) its just not possible, so I want to take a long drive. Bahrain is a small country, really. One fart and you’ve already crossed the Saudi border (sorry didn’t mean to be crude). And I’m ashamed that I’m about to leave in 3months and I have yet to drive around and see things that are so simple yet so… calming? Cause I’m that type of guy, the guy who sits on the sidewalk admiring the still of the night. And with everything I have to deal with, I just wish.. (yes I could really use a damn wish right now) that I can at least get this. I know I’m not a saint, but I can say that I at least deserve one less thing to worry about right?
So yes, starting the week off in bang, literally (may have woken up after falling from the bed for the nth time during my stay here), is not a good sign. The normally ever optimistic Josh has been experiencing night terrors based on his driving test. Fuck. Worst thing? I can’t even remember the damn dream! Or if I was even asleep. All I know is that every twenty to thirty minutes I check my watch, insomnia? I don’t know…
Solution: Banging and blasting your ears with music, think about nothing else and just… blend with the day.
If I pass.. I’ll have a party in the office, for all the scumbags that make life for me hard. If I fail.. I’ll crawl inside a hole and.. plot my revenge. I’ll come out when I’ve assembled a horde of vengeful spirits and bugs.
*sighs* Just.. one damn wish.. and I won’t even wish for a plane ticket to anywhere.
